Friday, 17 January 2014
Marriage or Wedding? Both please!
The former Archbishop of Canterbury has commented that the pressure to have the 'perfect' wedding has become one of the biggest threats to marriage itself. With the focus being on the wedding rather than the marriage, profiteers take over and turn what in his opinion should be a 'simple public declaration of commitment' into a 'showy and expensive day'. He comments that the enormous shows of wealth and extravagance (which many can barely afford) last a day but leave little time to focus on the day to day normalitities that couples then have to struggle through.
You may be surprised to hear that I am with him (despite possibly being one of the 'profiteers' he mentions). I especially agree with his presumption "This is an aspect I think of the short term, unimaginative, emotionally unintelligent climate that sometimes we seem forced to inhabit". Despite charging money to help make people's weddings and parties beautiful events my main focus is to make it a memorable event. Not for the reasons you may assume. A wedding may be memorable because of the enormous amount of money spent on it or it may be memorable because the bride wore an enormous dress, but neither of those reasons create positive and happy memories for the bride, groom, their families and friends.
Positive memories are created when an aspect of the wedding ceremony or reception speaks to the guests and warms their heart. Memories of the couple putting together a time capsule at the altar to be opened in 10, 20, 30 years time. Memories of the day two people you care about promised so much to each other when you look at the flowers growing from the seeds that were your wedding favour. Memories of the photos of relatives who could not be with the couple on their day, blowing in the wind in a 'family tree'. These are positive memories that I am interested in and that can be created for very little money but with plenty of imagination and emotional intelligence that help focus couples in the long term. These are the things that I believe create the 'perfect wedding'.
I am interested in creating memorable events for the couple. When happy memories last amongst people who love a couple, they grow and add to the love and commitment of the couple.
For more ideas about how to create the emotionally intelligent wedding see my Pintrest Board: